Second Life

Life is a rollercoaster ride and though the bumps can knock the wind out of your lungs, it is the blissful experience that we should be grateful for. Life is a journey and if you are not attentive towards its moments, you miss out on all the fun. We are conditioned to believe in certainty and that to ensure that certainty, we have to be in control of our life. Unfortunately, when life happens we are totally unprepared for it because nothing about life is certain other than the breath we inhale. Till I hit my 40’s I kept struggling to keep life under control, and it sent me spiralling into psychological problems of such magnitude that I made weird, crazy mistakes, I had to quit my job as a teacher, and it made me question my very existence. Lots of events, situations and circumstances, where I tried to control the outcomes based on biases and prejudices, but also out of naivety and the belief that everyone is good (I haven’t given up on the belief but I use it wisely) set the stage for the upheaval that shook me to my core. Just when I thought there was no way out of the abyss I had landed in, I quote the Sufi saint Rumi, ‘When you are really bewildered, maddened and annihilated, your whole being prays, without words, “Guide me”’. I was fortunate that my PARMESHWAR, who I had distanced myself from, never forsook me, heard my wordless plea and saved me from the abyss. At my lowest point in life He guided me to realise that ‘LIFE’ was a gift I had been given by HIM and to love myself was the most fitting way to be grateful for that gift. Slowly with help, I unlearned and relearned to be truly alive, to first and foremost acknowledge my existence and to let life be. As I slowly made my way up after hitting rock bottom, I started reading the Bhagavad Gita and it truly changed my outlook towards life. It made me realise that I am the ‘Atman’ and not the body and mind, they are mere tools for realising the Atman. Around the same time I started writing as a way to express my thoughts, which was the best outlet for all that which I was letting myself get bothered with, it served as a catharsis of the mind. I later composed poetry, wrote a few stories and tried my hand at drawing and shading too. These creative avenues (especially writing) gave me a channel to get clarity about myself, and as my writing progressed so did my reading. Books on spirituality drew me to them. I read Dnyaneshwari by Sant Dnyaneshwar which is a distilled discourse on the Bhagavad Gita, Dasbodh by Sant Ramdass Swami, an interpretation of the  Bhagavad Gita that simplifies its essence for the common man. I also realised that I met the right people thereafter who helped me stay and progress on my chosen path of self healing. I learnt that every event and situation of life was an important learning and that I should be grateful for everything that had happened to me. I took up running and pranayam to focus on the present and today I can’t be more grateful for making these changes. Running channelised my energy and pumped me with endorphins and pranayam helped me control my breathing and clear the mind, both culminating in making me more resilient to face the ups and downs of life. Today I am comfortable letting life flow its course, I can stay calm even when something happens that I wouldn’t want to happen or that pushes me out of my comfort zone.

Being a teacher I had been witness to many children and their parents struggling with psychological issues, and getting labelled or being misunderstood for things they themselves didn’t comprehend. With my own struggle with emotional issues I realised the importance of emotional education, study of the mind, if I wanted to help people heal their emotional wounds. Psychology counselling through NHCA Singapore provided me with the opportunity to learn about the human psyche and how to help people with emotional issues. As I study psychotherapy with Dr Pawan Mittal I can accrue for myself the benefits of the different therapies that we do during class, they have helped with self healing which is the first step to healing others. I look forward to being an emotional healer and make people love, live and enjoy life the way I do thanks to my KRISHNA.